Monday, September 3, 2012

The "Gifts" of Cancer

This is not for those with a lack of humor!

Since my diagnosis of stage IV colon cancer (cancer said in a whisper), in February of 2012, my life has been flipped upside down.  From surgeries, port implants, anesthesia induced marriage proposals (story for a later date), chemotherapy, hair loss, colostomy 101 and numerous other rocks in my path, I can truly say that cancer has been in more ways than not, a gift given to me.  I mean this in the most positive way.  Since my diagnosis the following has been realized:

  • I can truly appreciate every minute of every day and live in the moment.
  • My appreciation for life has increased ten-fold!  I can no longer even squash an ant for that matter, my sister Jen can account for that as I had one come with me to treatment one day and we let him go in the room, only to name him Charlie (our Chemo room pet) HA!
  • I could care less about money and while most wish they could win the lottery, I fear that will happen to me. If I won the lottery, I would be “expected” to quit my job and then wouldn't have the insurance to pay for the millions of dollars that my cancer fighting arsenal runs!
  • My physical health, although truly being tested by chemo, is the best it’s ever been due to changes in my lifestyle and diet.  Also, when I want to splurge….I could care less, after all, how much worse could it be…I have cancer right!
  • My pride-out the window.  This means I get a lot of help in a lot of ways and without any prideful guilt that I don’t deserve it.  Not many of you get your laundry done, bills paid for you, house cleaned and meals cooked for you on a weekly basis….I do. :) This one I will take advantage of while I can because I know that WHEN I become clear of this beast (NED in cancer terms), that will probably go away!
  • I have learned that this disease is, most of the time, harder on all of you (my family and friends) than it is on me….Sorry!  This, I consider a gift, because not sure how I would handle it if it were not me…I am such a control freak!
  • Fear is no longer in my vocabulary-as Melanie so wisely said “I will not fear cancer, it simply means Yes I Can Sir”!
  • I can actually FEEL all of the prayers and positive energy directed at me, mostly in the wee hours of the night.
Did I mention the never-ending stack of “cancer cards” I now have in my possession?  This is like MasterCard would say, “priceless” although my boss’s at work are starting to catch on and I cannot utilize them at work as freely as I used to because they like to tell me, ”you used to have cancer, not anymore”. :) I love their attitude and they treat me as they would their own family.

While nobody wants or deserves cancer, the experience has changed me in amazing ways.  I am realizing more and more the "gifts" every day and one could only be as lucky as me to get CANCER (shouting now).

Love Y’all!

P.S.  And I am pretty sure if I asked, my dad would buy me a pink pony and an island in the Bahamas... 

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