Since my diagnosis of stage IV colon cancer (cancer said in a whisper), in February of 2012, my life has been flipped upside down. From surgeries, port implants, anesthesia induced marriage proposals (story for a later date), chemotherapy, hair loss, colostomy 101 and numerous other rocks in my path, I can truly say that cancer has been in more ways than not, a gift given to me. I mean this in the most positive way. Since my diagnosis the following has been realized:
- I can truly appreciate every minute of every day and live in the moment.
- My appreciation for life has increased ten-fold! I can no longer even squash an ant for that matter, my sister Jen can account for that as I had one come with me to treatment one day and we let him go in the room, only to name him Charlie (our Chemo room pet) HA!
- I could care less about money and while most wish they could win the lottery, I fear that will happen to me. If I won the lottery, I would be “expected” to quit my job and then wouldn't have the insurance to pay for the millions of dollars that my cancer fighting arsenal runs!
- My physical health, although truly being tested by chemo, is the best it’s ever been due to changes in my lifestyle and diet. Also, when I want to splurge….I could care less, after all, how much worse could it be…I have cancer right!
- My pride-out the window. This means I get a lot of help in a lot of ways and without any prideful guilt that I don’t deserve it. Not many of you get your laundry done, bills paid for you, house cleaned and meals cooked for you on a weekly basis….I do. :) This one I will take advantage of while I can because I know that WHEN I become clear of this beast (NED in cancer terms), that will probably go away!
- I have learned that this disease is, most of the time, harder on all of you (my family and friends) than it is on me….Sorry! This, I consider a gift, because not sure how I would handle it if it were not me…I am such a control freak!
- Fear is no longer in my vocabulary-as Melanie so wisely said “I will not fear cancer, it simply means Yes I Can Sir”!
- I can actually FEEL all of the prayers and positive energy directed at me, mostly in the wee hours of the night.
While nobody wants or deserves cancer, the experience has changed me in amazing ways. I am realizing more and more the "gifts" every day and one could only be as lucky as me to get CANCER (shouting now).
P.S. And I am pretty sure if I asked, my dad would buy me a pink pony and an island in the Bahamas...